When kids start preschool the teacher may talk with you about playdates and suggest setting up some opportunities for the kids in the class to play outside of school to help them get adjusted and feel more comfortable around one another. They may mention the names of a few kids that your child seems to gravitate towards. Pick-up is a great place to start chatting up their parents and arrange a time for each child and parent to come over for a “playdate.”
Successful play interactions aren’t always perfect and almost always involve some work on the part of the parent. In most cases, just saying, “go play” doesn’t work. As kindergarteners, kids have a lot less supervision and teacher involvement in their playtime, so it is essential to help kids practice how to play successfully at home (and in other environments) with friends.
Here are 5 ways that my kids help create a successful playtime with their friends:
1. Work together to accomplish a task
One great way to work together with friends is by building with blocks or other creative toys (tinker toys, recycled materials, etc). You can also get out your Lego Challenges or go outside to build something. Another way to work together is to set up a pretend-play scenario. For example, set up a store and they labeled all the toys with prices. Later on the parents can get dress up and go “shopping” at their store.
Getting your kids involved in community activities with other kids can also help them develop new friendships. Working towards a common goal helps kids (and adults) feel connected to one another and also allows for some awesome opportunities to practice conversation skills. As an adult, you might even find that some of your best friendships are formed by working with other adults in jobs at church, your neighborhood, and in schools. By encouraging your kids to work together with their friends (new or old) they can deepen their friendships in a powerful way.
2. Go outside on an adventure
Getting kids outside opens up the conversation and gets them focused on things other than who is using which toy or who isn’t sharing, etc. A great way to do this is to head outside on a nature hunt around your neighborhood. The new environment gives the kids more to talk about and jogs their imaginations, causing them to come up with different activities. Kids can get in a rut with friends and just do the same things over and over again. Changing the environment can change the dynamic a bit. There are unlimited things they can do outside, so make sure your kids spend some time outdoors with their friends!
3. Participate in a sensory play experience
One great sensory activity is water & ice play! The kids will love using the hose, water guns, water balloons, and really any tool they can find as they play with a water table or in a baby pool. They’ll get dirty and wet, but they’ll have a blast. Another simple favorite sensory activity when having friends over is play dough! You can get out all sorts of cutting tools, duplos/Legos, and assorted accessories like candles or paper ice cream cones/dishes. Googly eyes, pipe cleaners, and muffin tin liners are also fun to pull out. The kids seem to enjoy sitting together and creating while chatting and you’ll love eavesdropping on their conversations. Making goop or cloud dough or doing splat painting is fun too. Sensory activities (especially new ones) give kids a shared cool experience that they can talk about and reflect on. As an adult, you’ll find that when you have a positive sensory experience with a friend, you have a stronger connection.
4. Engage in an invitation to play or create
During this time you can create amazing “invitations to play” or create. These invitations are open-ended and are really cool to use when your child has a friend over. Invitations to play allow your kids some control (try letting them pick the materials you use) while still making sure that the friends can do their own thing too. Anna at The Imagination Tree does daily invitations to play and she shares them on her Facebook page and on Instagram. These are perfect to use with your kids and their friends.
5. Enjoy a snack or a cooking activity together
Creating a snacktivity is another great idea for when your child has a friend over. Your child can come up with favorite snack materials and then the kids can create with their food… and eat it too. Meet the Dubiens has so many fun food creation ideas. If your kids are picky eaters and it may make your life easier if they create with their food as long as they eat it too. You can make this structured or just have it be open-ended. Having snack time with friends is another big thing in kindergarten. Snack time is a really good time to work on conversation skills. Kids that can have a conversation, ask good questions, listen to the answers, and maybe also give follow-up comments are ones that other kids want to hang out with. Embedding snack time into a playdate because it gives kids great conversation practice time. Even doing simple cooking activities together before you eat can be a fun way to get to know friends better.
